Space of forgiveness

It is not an act
It is not a doing
It is the intention and part of our essential being
To fore go the need to hold on to

In that space of forgiveness
Love and hatred cannot co exist
Forgiveness is willingness
It is in the acceptance and letting go
A desire arise to give love again unconditionally
It does not bound by past and history
It is not a have to but merely a choice

An epic battle between the glory of pride and a space of humility
Fierce and intense in the heart of a man
When ego subsides and love surmounts and conquered the space
It will be filled with passion and grace
A spirit of calmness and the rest fizzles through thin air
A space which is vast but yet filled
Overflowing and full of abundance
A feeling of whole and yet healing
And that is a space of forgiving...

Judgement

While I was talking to a lady just now, I realised something and I want to share my thoughts with you.

I met this lady a fortnight ago in an event. During this event she was not responding to me appropriately. My automatic reaction was to judge her. "Rude, inconsiderate, self-absorbed..." and the list continues... I also know a little bit of her background and that strengthen my judgement and the belief about her.
So today I met her again... and I heard other people's opinion and experience about her when she just entered the space for less than a minute.

It is just so easy to fall into judgement mode as we do it everyday and it becomes an automatic for us without even need to do a lot of work in judging. So we become a judgement machine. Ah, even the statement sounds like a judging statement.

Now the story continues, before I sat down and start talking to her, I noticed I have a choice to make here. One is to continue my judgement that I set before hand and continue the conversation. Second is to start on a clean page. I chose the second. Not easy as I noticed the opinions and judgements wanted to interfere into my mind. There were a lot of effort that I put in just to remind myself and stay vigilant on being present and compassion.

The result, as I listen to her and getting to know more about her, I realised that how wrong I was about all my judgements and my assumptions on her. She was not rude, she is nice and pleasant. She is not self absorbed, she remembered our first encounter. She apologised for being rude to me. I was humbled by that experience and by being wrong about my judgement. I forgave myself and moved on with our conversation so that I would be able to enjoy and create a wonderful experience for both.

My lesson and thought for today

Being aware about our thoughts and actions, requires us to be present with our mind and our emotions. It is important to be vigilant with our intentions and create what we committed to create. Along the way, if we wonder off, stop before it is too far, forgive if that makes you feel good again, laugh about it if you can, make a new choice in that moment and create new experience again.

A warehouse of life...

Just imagine... if you have a store room. In this store room you could keep all the events that has been happening for the last 20,30,40,50 (depending on your age) years of your life. All the items that you collected all these years. All the emotions and feelings that you have ever felt. It is all kept here... Everything that you can find about yourself is in here. And because you are busy as no time to step in here, you have more important stuff to do in life, busy with work, busy with something... You have not been keeping your store room or even do your stock take (inventory) all these years about you have, what you don't, which section need to be cleaned up, disposed etc.

If you are to step into your store room for the first time now...

What would you see in your store room?...

What would be your experience when you see your store room now?...

Would you experience lost, would you want to run away and avoid seeing the condition of it? Would you be curious to explore what you have been keeping? What does it take to just walk through your own "store room?" What would you find again...? What would you do with all the stuff that you have been keeping?

How are you feeling?

Today is another usual encounter that I have with people. I had glimpse of thoughts here and there. What caught my attention today was, when I asked this question "How do you feel now?" The usual answers would be :

• I don't know
• Feelings?! (Like a strange word)
• What do you mean?
• I don't have any feelings...
• Ok
• I feel .....
• Silent ....

My thought ... How could that happen? How could we have the hesitation to feel. Aren't we suppose to have feelings/ emotions, to feel... Have we lost it? Feeling is like a censor or a guide to us, becoming human. That is part of our emotional intelligence (EQ) (I think...). Some of us take sometimes to find words to describe feeling. I googled the list of word for feeling and I found that it's more than 150 words that could describe different feelings or experience that could express our emotions.

So how come we say that we have no feelings? Is it that we are afraid to feel? Have we numb ourselves? Or are we too busy to feel so we just let the feelings disappear ...  

When we come to the world, we are full of emotions and feelings even when we do not understand a word, we know how to express our emotions. Are we zombifying ourselves now in life? At what price?

How are you feeling?