I Lost a Friend

I lost a friend today...
Not just a friend, not just any friend
She is a person that I admire, adore and loved 
A shoulder to cry on when I need some comfort
A great listener to listen to my ranting
A fantastic mirror as I could count on her feedback, wouldn't sell me out on anything and ensure that I always on track
A cheer leader that will cheer me up to continue doing what I started even though I felt like giving up halfway
A great companion doing all the crazy, fun, unreasonable and challenging things in both our life
A person who was well-traveled as to expand her perspective of life and be free
A creative entrepreneur who has touched so many lives through her work because her work is her passion
A loving wife, mother and daughter, her love is so infectious and so unconditional that she did not mind to go the extra miles 

Shub, the name that I fondly called her
I will be missing her calling my name too
Even though it is difficult for me to learn to live without you by my side
I will cherish every moment that we spent together in the last 10 years
I am so grateful that I get to know you
I know that you will be up there somewhere with Paul and Little Kaela
I lost a friend, a soul mate today...
But your love and memories will always be with me till the end...   I love you Shub...

* Shuba, her husband Paul Goes and their young daughter Kaela were among the 298 passengers onboard of flight MH71 that has been shot down at the Russia-Ukraine border.

A warehouse of life...

Just imagine... if you have a store room. In this store room you could keep all the events that has been happening for the last 20,30,40,50 (depending on your age) years of your life. All the items that you collected all these years. All the emotions and feelings that you have ever felt. It is all kept here... Everything that you can find about yourself is in here. And because you are busy as no time to step in here, you have more important stuff to do in life, busy with work, busy with something... You have not been keeping your store room or even do your stock take (inventory) all these years about you have, what you don't, which section need to be cleaned up, disposed etc.

If you are to step into your store room for the first time now...

What would you see in your store room?...

What would be your experience when you see your store room now?...

Would you experience lost, would you want to run away and avoid seeing the condition of it? Would you be curious to explore what you have been keeping? What does it take to just walk through your own "store room?" What would you find again...? What would you do with all the stuff that you have been keeping?

Staying sane in a drifted world

A thought came to me before I closed my eyes last night to sleep ... 

"How do I stay sane in the drift ..."

Most of the time, we just do more of the same but with different people and different place, different environment. Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different result ... So what can we do about it.
Maybe we are asleep while awake, deaf while hearing things and blind while seeing ... so we just form part of the drift. What does it take to stay awake? Maybe that's the key to be sane, to taste life as it is versus illusion that we create in our life.  Perhaps, part of the suffering that we experience is because of we also creating illusions and set the expectations that we know would not serve us ... Staying awake may requires us to be vigilant about our emotions, thoughts and actions. To always see possibilities and make new choices out of many that is presented in front of us.
I read this, this morning ... and it brought the sanity back in me ...
Thank you Maya Angelou and may you rest in peace as your contribution and legacy continues to serve human kind ...

Still I Rise - Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.